Five Point Knot

Like a weapon, some words say nothing,
or something like a knife.
This year's been cold,
just like when you refused to hold me,
I don't blame you, please believe this...
please believe I'm down in here,
you twist, I turn, we watch the world burning.
I see them silhouettes making their own faces.
Think there is something living in the walls,
don't think I'm dreaming...
takes every movement with precaution,
knows I've been chasing.
Think there is something living in the walls,
sounds like I'm breaking.
I never find right where it's coming from.
Sounds like I'm shadowing...
Look what you brought...this waking thought:
the devil was here.
I can still feel the haunting on my tongue.
I see them silhouettes making up their own
sort of faces in vain.
...sounds like I'm splitting in two...
Wake up! You're not breathing!
(can't move these old hands at all)
Wake up! It's just you twisting the twilight
up in knots.

Racked

It's all just time passing, scribbled on the page.
One more shot, one more beer and our age...
Two years gone, nothing much has changed.
A pull brings your head up.
I wish I had the best intentions instead
of trying to try.
It's a scheme I had, a bad invention
...always liked it hard.
How many times have we been in this bar,
and played this game for hours, hmmmm?
One more shot, one more beer and we're stars.
Never thought that I'd get this far.
A pull brings you're head up.
What's gonna change? Who's gonna break?

Hummingbird

Every word hangs in my head
like a hummingbird.
It's buzzing echo's all that I heard.
Not done with this yet...think we got an angel.
Not done with this yet...
my heart beats so hard, it hurts.
Just tell me if I could be wrong, and
what is worth the work?
Is "us" worth saving? Have I put shame in the whole idea?
...and the night comes in spasm.
I sleep in my dirt.
I'm forgetful 'til my dreams replay the worst.
...and I'm not just the devil...
but didn't I bring us both to hell?
I'm not just you're devil.
My heart beats black and blue.
...in the blink of an eye, fast as a
hummingbird flying by...

Bitter

He kisses me. He says the taste is bitter.
...but I never cheat. I've never been a quitter.
Don't we all have suicidal thoughts?
Times seem so terrible.
Don't we all get caught up, and against the wall?
Whenever he starts questioning, someone starts singing
a song about it.
Nothing hits home like tragedy: everyone wants
a piece of it.
He kisses me...seems always the last time, or so
I expect. Love isn't free.
You reap what you sow and I know what I'll get.
Don't we all have scary, confused thoughts?
Times seem so abysmal.
Don't we all get hung up and trapped 'tween these walls?
...nothing hits home like misery.
Everyone's got their own piece of it.
Some girls are romantic beyond their means.
I've heard some boys like the jealousy.
Some girls confuse politics with self-respect. I've made my own bed,
and someday I'll remember why I can't sleep.

Wreckingball

...keep drawing outside the lines. Time
escapes me blind. The mind wanders...
I swear that thing, it ain't mine...a teasing disease...
a wreckingball.
Seemed so sane, this mess around me.
Red-caped wonder falls sooner than later,
as far as I've seen.
No hero great enough to undo crimes I keep commiting.
"The good guys finish last": it's his try at getting past
the whole past. Don't you understand?
It's the secrets we keep keeping.
It comes faster than me.
I know I can count nothing too high.
You don't have to shout this close to me.
Seemed so sane, this mess around me.

Love, Evil Me

You answered the phone, knife already in your hand.
It's so easy. It's so easy when I'm asking for it.
And didn't I respond just the way you had planned?
It's so easy. It's so easy...must be the Catholic in me.
And if you think two thousand miles justifies your lying,
goodbye. Love,
Evil me.
And isn't it romantic, dear Handsome Hypocrite?
Shit, you're too easy. It's so easy...
say "hi" to my sister for me.
And I'm not blind to what they don't see.
Might fool your friends, but you don't fool me.
If you think two thousand miles justifies your lying,
goodbye. Love,
Evil Me
(PS) You're too kind. I only hope
I've earned my title.

This Drunks Lament

I only made half of what I spent today, and still asking myself,
"why do I do this, anyway"?
My lover is hateful and I deserve to lose his love.
I'm so ungrateful...ain't nothin' left to save
and I'm on my way to the bottom. I'm on my way
to the very place I'm afraid of.
I'm 28. It just stares me in the face. I don't even have an excuse
for being this useless. I don't have the guts to confess it...
the truth of the matter, is I'm one foot in the grave
and I'm on my way to the bottom. I'm on my way
to the very place I'm afraid of.
Would you trust another word? Would you dare invest
a moment toward my goal? It's obvious...
you do what you gotta do, don't you?
I only played half the games as yesterday, and still asking myself
why I do it anyway.
We're alienated and I'm not sure what to think.
I'm diving for wisdom at the bottom of my drink
and I'm on my way...I'm on my way...

Ceasefire

Still walking on the line I've stretched far and so fine.
Your heart is cold against my face. We've never been safe.
The war is long been over. I'm sore and tired and old.
I came home to find my own place, my friends, strangers.
I thought you knew me well...the same girl I never knew myself.
The war is long been over. I'm sore and tired and old.
I swore I'd make it this time, but all the words in the world
won't change the path I've taken.

I'm Leaking

Just wanted to say, the day's become dark,
darker than the past. Just wanted to say,
I love you.
I'm angry enough and sad, just the same,
sadder than the past. I'm angry enough
for both of us.
I'm leaking.
Your face is strange. My manners are a shame.
I've lost the will to love not anybody else, not even myself.
I love you.
Pull back; keep it safe. It's a terrible thing to waste.
I'm writing us a song! You could play it just the same. I'm left with a name
I can't even say.
I'm leaking.

Clouds Fade

...guess this is freedom...guess I beat this thing...
tell me I'm doing good...when did you start believing?
Wish I could tear it out from between us.
The clouds in your eyes don't hide.
Wish I could fill it up with some trust
. Don't clouds fade with time?